When things fall apart and we’re on the verge of we know not
what, the test of each of us to stay on that brink and not concretize. The spiritual
journey is not about heaven and finally getting to a place that’s really swell.
One teacher mentioned: “When you have made good friends with
yourself, your situation will be more friendly, too.”
“Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over
to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found it us.” It’s all
about letting go of everything.
On the other hand, when the bottom falls out and we can’t
find anything to grasp, it hurts a lot. Indeed, “Love of the truth puts you on
the sport.” We might have some romantic view of what that means but when we are
nailed in the truth, we suffer. We look in the bathroom mirror, and there we
are with our pimples, our ageing face, our lack of kindness, our aggression and
timidity—all that stuff.
This is where tenderness comes in. When things are shaky and
nothing is working, we might realize that we are on the verge of something. We might
realize that this is a very vulnerable and tender place and that tenderness can
either go a long way. We can shut down and feel resentful or we can touch it on
that throbbing quality. There is definitely something tender and throbbing
about groundlessness.
It’s a kind of testing that spiritual warriors need in order
to awaken their hearts. Sometimes, it’s because of illness or death that we
find ourselves in this place. We experience a sense of loss—loss of our loved
ones, loss of youth, loss of our life.
Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of
healing. The healing comes from letting there be room for all this to happen:
room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.
When we think that something is going to bring us pleasure,
we don’t know what’s really going to happen. Letting there be room for not
knowing is the most important thing of all. It may just be the beginning of a
great adventure.
Life is like that. We don’t know anything. We call something
bad; we call it good. But really, we just don’t know.
When things fall apart we’re on the verge of we know not
what, the test for each of us is to stay on that brink and not concretize. We use
these situations either to wake ourselves up or to put ourselves to sleep. Right
now—in the very instant of groundlessness—is the seed of taking care of those
who need our care and of discovering our goodness.
Life is a good teacher and a good friend. Things are always
on a transition if we only realize it.
Adapted from: When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for the
Difficult Times by Pema Chodron.